Take a look in the mirror, assess what you see
Is the one looking back who you want them to be?
Possibly yes, probably no
Regardless, there's something I think you should know
We live in an era of body positivity
where thick's the new thin, and we struggle for natural beauty
But if I'm as perfect as all of those pop singers say
Why do my prospects keep running away?
They still call me ugly, they still think I’m fat
It's society's fault that they see it like that?
Though it's totally fine to be comfortable in your skin
It's probably time now that someone who cares filled you in
Some people just aren't going to like you
Some folks are illogical, biased, or rude
Some people hate brains, some people hate beauty
Some women drink whiskey, some men like it fruity
And most important of all
You'll probably never know what you did wrong
There are 7.2 billion fish in the sea
Some of them, opposites of you and me
They say one man's quirks are another man's flaws
It's useless to protest these natural laws
Yet you might believe there are some who're immune to this fate
Like all those celebrities nobody's able to hate?
Like Scarlett Johansson (she's got a plain face)
or Jennifer Lawrence (she lacks any grace)
Benedict Cumberbatch (looks like a lizard)
Emma Watson (she's not even really a wizard)
JT (that guy dresses like kind of a douche)
Tom Hanks (don't think we forgot Turner and Hooch)
What about Kate Upton (her chest is too ample)
Dave Grohl? Well, okay, bad example
My point is that taste can be fickle and hard to discern
And sometimes contrarians just want to watch the world burn
Some people just aren't going to like you
Some folks are illogical, biased, or rude
So don't bother asking, cuz they'll never say
Why there's prejudice tattooed to their DNA
And most important of all
You'll probably never know what you did wrong
In fairness to all of the good men and women I trashed in the previous verse
I've made up a list to remind all of you that you definitely could have it worse
Paco Higdon, that guy's got a bit of a gut
He wears baggy pants that don't flatter his butt
That mop on his head is both creepy and weird
And it's kind of pathetic he can't grow a beard
His shoes look straight out of Goodwill (they are)
His room might as well be a landfill
He nibbles his nails, a most hideous vice and
His nose is the love child of Squidward and Streisand
But he still found a lady who just doesn't care
let's him dress like a hobo and grow out his hair
His blue eyes are pretty, he's got a nice smile
His humor and wit take him that extra mile
He's proof that it clearly takes more to being manly than having some scruff on your chest
His heart is so big that it makes up for all of his parts that are average at best
And I know that some people just aren't going to like me
Some jerks won't know skill if it bit their behinds
Snorting the line between fact and subjective
Whatever, we're all just a little defective
And most important of all
We'll all never know what is we did wrong
We'll all never know what is we did wrong
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